


my sacred shrine

by its_a_banana



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fear, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Realizations, Sanctuary, Sweet, anime setting kinda hehe, city life, college nomin, countryside, deep meanings, highly inspired on romantic anime, nomin, rural to urban, shrine, side jaedo, side renhyuck, side yumark - Freeform, this pierces a lot, uncertainties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:29:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27133204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_a_banana/pseuds/its_a_banana
Summary: "You'll," – never leave me, right? – "tell me if something's wrong, right?"He hesitated because it felt like it isn't the right question to ask. He doesn't know why he thought of it – not being on each other's side. And he doesn't want to imagine it if the younger may happen to say the contrast of what he's feeling.Jaemin flashed him his signature smile and laid his head against Jeno's shoulder, "Of course Jeno-yah."Jeno breathed out a heavy sigh he didn't know he was holding. He pushes away those thoughts. He may not know what the future lays for him or whatever his decisions will take him, but if there's one thing he's sure of, that is, he'll never feel the uttermost contentment he is feeling now without Jaemin.Because Jaemin will always be Jeno's sanctuary.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	my sacred shrine

**Author's Note:**

> hi, i'm back hahaha after a couple of weeks, i finished it already :'))  
> this is all about the countryside to city life with feelings and uncertainties, and of course nomin  
> while reading this, I highly suggest you listen to these songs:  
> radwimps - is there anything love can do  
> ginga soup - tide and school uniform  
> shugo tokumaru - tightrope  
> priscilla ahn - sayonara colors  
> nct dream - walk you home
> 
> i listened to these songs while writing this. Hope you'll like the story.  
> happy reading ♡♡

  


  


Jeno barely counts in his fingers the times he went to a shrine and pray. Not that he hums a serious prayer but rather he's just there because _Jaemin_ is also there.

Jaemin likes to drag him there but Jeno won't dare enter the shrine, he's okay being outside of the temple and wait for Jaemin. Although when the other likes to pester him, he'll accompany him inside. Then, he would make him kneel as well and Jaemin would pray or wish.

He doesn't know what Jaemin prays for but he never misses his schedule; every Friday afternoon, right after their class, just before the sunsets.

Sometimes, Jeno would find himself staring at Jaemin's face as he prays. _Beautiful_ , always beautiful. Jaemin has always been a picture of true happiness. Jeno remembers all the times whenever he has problems, the mere presence of the younger is enough for Jeno to face those issues.

Plus, no one understands them the way they understand each other. No one knows Jaemin as much as Jeno and vice versa. They were attached to the hips ever since they're kids and Jeno always believes that Jaemin is his _ride or die_.

Sure, they have their other friends; Donghyuck, Mark, and Jisung. _Best friends_ in the whole world yet if Jeno would add one more 'best' to those words, he concepts that it would only define Jaemin. And that stayed as their dynamics in their circle of friends.

Not that Jeno is being biased but if there's someone he would save out of them, he would not doubt reach for Jaemin first. It sounds unfair but it's the truth.

And he's the only one patient enough to say 'yes' to Jaemin's antics, as long as it doesn't bring harm. He clearly remembers the time when Jaemin has called and asked him to be his guardian to save him and Donghyuck from their teacher because they caused trouble. Or that one-time Jaemin drag him to the mudflat to catch some crabs and octopuses even though the sun is at its peak. Or just that one experience, Jaemin called him in the middle of the night wanting to go to the hills to catch some fireflies, Jeno grunted but didn't hesitate to get up from his bed.

Now, they're in their last year in high school yet if Jaemin would ask him again to go catch fireflies with him, Jeno won't think twice about the answer.

Mark has teased him about it, how _whipped_ he is for Jaemin. Though he always brushes it off as 'that's what bestfriends do'. But everyone around them views them like that. Even Jisung appointed himself as their son – no shock at all, Jaemin just smiles while Jeno shrugs.

Jeno doesn't dwell on it too much – of whether he likes Jaemin _that way_. He is happy and contented with what they have now, Jeno wouldn't change a thing. The younger is a constant presence in his life and Jeno's more than okay with that.

" _Nono_ ," someone called and flicked his forehead, making him open his eyes. He glares at the younger who just smiles brightly at him, "Come on, let's head home."

Jeno stood up from his seat, "You finished already?"

"The sun already sets. Did you slept?"

"Hmm, nod off. What did you pray about?" He hums and they started walking away from the shrine.

Jeno looks up at him, and just like that, when Jaemin turned around to face him, the sunset glows right behind him. And it's a sight worthy to see, how that red-orange hue hits Jaemin's skin, casting a gleaming shadow of the younger. He's _glowing_ as he should be.

That's why Jeno had always preferred sunsets than sunrises. The aesthetic feelings it gives as he watches the sky turns autumn red, then there's Jaemin - _yeah, Jaemin_.

" _Secret_ ," and he stuck his tongue out to tease Jeno. Jaemin's mandatory answer. He doesn't get it why Jaemin always likes to go to the shrine though he never questions him. However, he is curious as to what the younger pray about.

Just like any of his schedule, Jeno always accompanies Jaemin when he goes to the shrine – rain or day. Jeno takes a look back at the shrine. As he grew up going to that shrine, his view on it changes. It wasn't a fundamental shrine, it stands on its own and it looks _sorrowful_.

It wasn't like that before. When he was a kid, he has a memory of a lot of people going to the shrine, row after row of kneeling knees, the monotonous yet heavy humming of prayers, and columns of dedicated candles. High at the mountain but people diligently take up the hundred steps just to reach the shrine and pray. It was a lovely shrine but it also has its fight with time.

Years passed by, small establishments and churches built or even the burst of the technology, the shrine loses its purposes. The times Jeno has always been there, he sees fewer and fewer people until it's only Jaemin that comes there. Now, when Jeno looks at it, vines wrapped at the woods, fallen leaves at the floor, and even the statue designated in the middle of the shrine was long gone. All was left is a sole altar, which Jaemin uses.

It may now be an abandoned shrine but it will always be Jaemin's sanctuary, and that's something Jeno will always respect.

So he stops in his tracks and bows at the shrine – an acknowledgment of purpose and existence.

"Jeno," Jaemin whines, slurring out the 'o'. Jeno turned to him and smiles at the pout painted on the younger's face. He runs towards him catching up and he let out a grunt when the younger jumps on his back.

"Yah! Get off me!"

"Nope," Jaemin said as he settles more in position and his smile gradually widens when Jeno instinctively wrapped his hands at his knees, securing him in place. Jeno got no more choice so he settles in carrying Jaemin, not like he is weighty. He reminded himself to make sure Jaemin eats a good portion of meals.

He felt Jaemin lay his head on his shoulder, his arms around Jeno's neck. Jeno loves the warmth. He loves _this,_ the younger is peaceful and so is he. He smiles at the feeling, and he looked at the sight as they descend from the mountain.

Jeno loves their island. Yes, it's rural – far away from the city, the _countryside_ , but nothing beats 'home' but the home itself. Jeno spent all of his life here, this island is part of who he is. And when he looks at it, it's a wonderful landscape; the houses with a few establishments, their school that stood high, the little town it comprises, the silhouettes of the inhabitants, the streetlights that just switched on, the trees, even the mountains, and the vast blue sea.

It all just screams 'home' for Jeno, very much like the one in his back.

"Nono," Jaemin slowly murmured. Jeno looked at him curiously, he was expecting the younger to be asleep since they had a hard day at school.

"Hmm?"

And Jeno contemplated if Jaemin is really asleep and that he's just sleep-talking. But after a few more minutes, Jeno felt Jaemin's hold on him tightens and he buries his face at Jeno's neck. Jeno prays Jaemin wouldn't feel the shiver that went up to his spine for a second.

"Will you leave me when we go to college?"

The hesitation and doubt in Jaemin's voice made Jeno stops at his steps. They were already at the footstep of the younger, just a few more steps before the streets, but Jeno couldn't help but stop.

Jeno never thought about it. And at that moment it sinks into him that they're graduating soon, and sooner, they'll be packing up to face college. Jeno has a dream – he always wanted to be a doctor. He likes helping people. And he knows in order for him to achieve that, he has to leave the island since there are no universities there.

Like Mark, who just face timed them yesterday about how freshman life is going on his university. Jeno remembers how happy Mark is, talking about how Seoul is so different from their town, how exciting it is to live in the city, and he said that he can't wait for Jeno, Jaemin, and Donghyuck to come there, making Jisung pout since he will still be staying there and finish his high school.

And Jeno may or may not have pictured that, him and his friends opening up their lives to a new environment. In those pictures or imaginations, Jaemin is always there, by his side. _It will be fun_ , he always assures.

So he doesn't get it why would Jaemin ask that question.

"Why are you asking that? Are you getting rid of me? Because you're not doing a good job," he lightens up because he feels just a teeny tiny bit of setback in Jaemin's side. He felt the younger bury himself more into Jeno, like he's afraid to let go. Jeno thinks he must be overthinking this.

The younger shouldn't worry about, Jeno has set his heart. "I'll be where you'll be, _Nana_."

Then, he continues their way and he felt Jaemin loosen the hug but remains buried on Jeno. Whatever the reason why the younger asked such question is not on Jeno's plate, Jaemin could always come to him on his own when he needed to talk about it. But Jeno wants him to know that he, not in a million times, will not leave Jaemin.

"Thank you _Nono._ "

Because he's sure now. Wherever life may take the two of them, where Jaemin is, Jeno will be just a step away.

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


That night, Jeno lies awake with those thoughts running in his head. After their walk from the shrine, Jeno settles Jaemin at his bed – the younger really falling asleep along the way. Jaemin wouldn't know how Jeno caresses his face, gently and _lovingly_. He wouldn't know how Jeno arranges the blanket around the younger, careful, and _protectively._ He wouldn't know how Jeno smiles as he snuggles at him, cozy and _warm_.

He's just contented there, staring at him. And for a moment, he wishes this to last forever. However, when his phone buzzes, that's when he realized that he also needs to go home.

After bidding goodbye to Mrs. Na with a lot of tupperwares of dishes in his hand and a hug to the mother, Jeno went on his way home.

During their supper, his parents talked about when are they going to the city to take the college entrance exam. And he replied, "We're still waiting for the mail but probably we're taking it together – me, Nana, and Hyuck."

He's pretty sure that they're going to take it together. Donghyuck has always been vocal about how he wanted to be in the city already – feeling jealous of how much fun Mark describes it, just because they all know that Donghyuck is most likely to be the first one to go crazy when they first land at the city.

Then Jeno's mind drifted to Jaemin. Jaemin is expressive as Jeno remembers him, but he never spoke about _college._ Whenever they talk about it over their school lunch, Jaemin would just smile and nods along.

_I should ask Nana about it._

It's not like he's worried at all. He traces how Jaemin is the past few days. He's his normal self, bubbly. Jeno thinks that maybe Jaemin is just nervous about their graduation. Only two months left and they're living in a new setting. And it's not like they're leaving the island, no matter what happens, the island will always be their 'home'.

But sometimes Jeno thinks that there's a much better version of home than how he describes their town; a serenity he can only found on _Jaemin_.

_Nothing will change, nothing._

He even thinks that it's great. The opportunity for them to explore what's more than the horizon they've always seen, a world much bigger for bigger dreams for bigger people, like them.

He knows Jaemin also has a dream – the younger has always pestered him to be his _model_ or just strike a pose, even in the middle of the street as they eat their popsicles, Jeno could frown all he wants but Jaemin will always rule his _heart._

He turns to his side, his eyes catching his picture. It was a picture of him, sitting at the shore. He remembers that time, how could he forget? That was the first time he sneaks out in the middle of the class just so he can accompany the younger who is helping a fisherman. So Jeno has no choice but to help also.

"I swear to god, what are you up to?" He huffed after helping the fisherman.

"But he needs help Nono." The pout is evident in his voice.

Jeno shook his head in disbelief, "It's the middle of our class, it's even Calculus Nana! What are you even doing out here?"

"Nothing, I just want to be with the sea," he solemnly said as he looked at the blue waters. And Jeno immediately understands him. Every person has a take-back, a time where a pause is needed and realized that _everything in life is beautiful_. So maybe Jaemin feels that way at that time, and it was even more acceptable when Jaemin grips in his hand the _digital camera_ that Jeno gifted to him. Jeno made a mental note to save for Jaemin's new camera. 

Then he turned back at him, "It doesn't hurt to skip a class once in your life Mr. Valedictorian," he teases. 

Jeno couldn't help but snickers. Then the fisherman called the two of them and gave each of them a cup of ramen, a gratitude for helping him. At first, Jeno refuses but the fisherman insists.

As they ate, they sat down at the shore and Jeno swears that view is one of the most beautiful views he has ever seen. It was the time when the sun starts to set, and the vibrant orange it emits blends along with the boundless skies, merging colors within the clouds and the reflection of it in the sea. He captures all of it in his mind.

So he closes his eyes to feel it, the exquisite feeling of the moment. Then, he heard a snap of a camera. When he looked at Jaemin, he is already smiling at the camera and standing up to picture more of the view. And Jeno thinks that life could get better as long as he has the other.

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


Monday comes and Jeno is again seated between Donghyuck and Jaemin at their usual place at the canteen, and it's not even lunch yet. It's barely 10 o'clock in the morning but as an incentive for pre-graduates, they're exempted from today's school activities.

"Jeno, how's the valedictorian speech going?" Donghyuck teases, sipping on his juice.

"I'll make sure you're not in it."

"Ouch, bitch that hurts," Donghyuck dramatically gasps and Jaemin laughs. Of course, that is a lie but he isn't giving Donghyuck that triumph, not until their graduation.

"How about me, Nono?" Jaemin asked as he leaned towards him and gave him those pleading eyes. Donghyuck rolled his eyes at Jaemin's aegyo, it was a common sight for their group because the younger is the pure image of cuteness – yes, beside Jisung. And guess who's the only one fool enough to always fall for it?

"Of course Nana, I only exempt Hyuck," he stuck out his tongue at Donghyuck who flipped him a finger, and the three of them laughed together.

Jeno thought that he's going to miss this. How moments like this will be seldom once they step to college, knowing that each of them has a different league to pursue. And that's okay, as long as in the end, they're still the bunch of kids that came from the island and will always have that best friendship until infinity stops.

Then, Donghyuck raised a statement, "I can't believe we're going to Seoul next week. Like – dude, I can't sleep, no shit I'm so excited!"

Right, the e-mail came Saturday and Donghyuck is just too excited so he requested face time just to tell Mark that they're coming up to Seoul. And Jeno watches Jaemin at the screen amidst Mark and Donghyuck's bickers and Jisung's whines, he looked at him and sees a cheerful Jaemin.

Just him, smiling and even shouting to the boys to stop fighting. And for a moment, Jeno felt relieved. He thought maybe there is something that's bothering Jaemin.

"You two better not be late," Donghyuck pointed at the two of them, "especially you," he squints as his eyed Jaemin.

"Like, can you calm down your tits? We're just going there for a day," Jaemin remarked.

"The earlier we get there, the earlier we finish. The earlier we finish means roaming at the city and finding a boyfriend – I'm not getting beaten by Mark hyung!"

"I dare you to find someone. Nobody wants to be your boyfriend."

"Yah! What are you saying? I'm a boyfriend material."

"Yeah – childish, crazy, noisy, what more?" Jaemin asked, turning to Jeno for assistance.

"Dramatic," Jeno said with a smile on his face.

"It's called being ' _high-spirited_ ' you fuckers. You know what? I don't care what the two of you say – I'm going all out in Seoul."

"I'm preparing to pretend I don't know you – Wait, does it mean that we're meeting Mark hyung's boyfriend?"

"I'm so gonna tease him for it," Donghyuck laughs evilly, Jeno's scared for what's about to come for Mark. "I'll tell his boyfriend all his embarrassing moments."

"Oh count me in!" Jaemin exclaimed and they high-fived each other. He'll pray for Mark's sanity because his naughty friends are about to get him mad.

And the day passes by like a blur, a normal day for Jeno. Honestly, he also can't wait for next week. He's more reserved on their circle of friends but deep inside, he's feeling jittery and nervous going to Seoul. He knows he shouldn't, well he should be nervous about the fact that he'll be examining for the largest university in South Korea – now, that's saying something. But Mark promises them that he'll tour them around, to get a gist of city life.

They were walking back home from the school, feeling tired for all the graduation rites practice, and every time they practice marching, the more Jeno realized that they're closing in on another chapter and opening up for a new one.

Jeno looked at the figure beside him. Jaemin has been quiet as they walk, sometimes Jeno likes the silence but now, Jeno prefers Jaemin talking. It just presses Jeno harder that something's worrying the younger.

"Jaemin-ah."

"Hmm?" He looked up at him, and Jeno isn't sure but he thinks those eyes are missing the usual glint it has.

"Are you excited to go to Seoul?"

Then, there's silence. But Jaemin answered, and that's enough for Jeno, "Of course. It's like – I'm – I don't know – going to another country or something."

"It's just Seoul."

"I know but Seoul is different here."

"We're not leaving the island. Even if we study there, we'll always come back home, _here._ " – _Together,_ he might want to add but he holds off his tongue.

"Should I flop the exam?" Jaemin contemplated and even though it sounded like a joke, Jeno couldn't but help but feel a fit of slight anger.

"Jaemin," he warned.

"Arasseo – arasseo. I'm just joking," Jaemin sing-song and proceeded to skip along the way. Or maybe it's not anger that Jeno felt, maybe it was _fear._ As much as he knows Jaemin, this is the one time he can't read if the younger is joking or being serious. And the thought of experiencing a new journey without Jaemin sounds all absurd to him.

Suddenly, he's hit with how scared he is if he loses Jaemin. That's something he has never thought – especially if all of their lives, they spent it with each other. Then, he's taken back to the question the younger asked him last time.

' _Will you leave me when we go to college?_ '

Is Jaemin leaving him? And the adrenaline shoots to Jeno as he runs to catch up to Jaemin. When he's just a step away, he slipped his hand against Jaemin's ones. The younger looked at him perplexed but didn't make a move to pull back.

Jeno is just looking at their hands, those hands he never thought he could lose one day, and it's dreadfully scary. He doesn't like it. The fast-beating of his heart and – everything is just pulsating in his body, his hand tightening his hold on the younger.

"Nana," he trailed, taking up the courage to look at the younger. And when they lock gaze, Jeno's always been mesmerized by his eyes, like it holds the whole universe in there.

"Hmm?" The younger hummed, stopping their walk as he looked at Jeno, arching an eyebrow in question.

"You'll," – _never leave me, right?_ – "tell me if something's wrong, right?"

He hesitated because it felt like it isn't the right question to ask. He doesn't know why he thought of it – not being on each other's side. And he doesn't want to imagine it if the younger may happen to say the contrast of what he's feeling.

Jaemin flashed him his signature smile and laid his head against Jeno's shoulder, "Of course Jeno-yah."

Jeno breathed out a heavy sigh he didn't know he was holding. He pushes away those thoughts. He may not know what the future lays for him or whatever his decisions will take him, but if there's one thing he's sure of, that is, he'll never feel the uttermost contentment he is feeling now without Jaemin.

Because _Jaemin_ will _always_ be _Jeno's sanctuary._

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


The sun hasn't risen yet when Jeno padded his way to the port of the island. It is a cold morning as Jeno rubs his hands together to create warmth. It is d-day, and Jeno felt excited. He can't wait to see the city. He knows that the main purpose is for them to take the exam and hopefully, pass it – but somehow, that's on the back of his mind, he can worry about that later, for now, he just wants to step into _Seoul_.

"Yah Jeno-yah! Palli!"

In miracle times, Donghyuck is the earliest and he's like born ready to be a city man. And it's great, Jeno thought. He always thought about how Donghyuck is such a lively person, he wouldn't be surprised if one night, he'll be the life of the party.

Jeno jogged towards the other, and he looked around and noticed two things; one, he can already see the boat coming and two, Jaemin is still not there.

He felt the panic, so he turned to Donghyuck, "Where's Jaemin?"

The other shrugged, "I don't know. I thought you two would come here together, as always."

No, Jaemin didn't say something about fetching him. Heck, they also didn't talk yesterday aside from a little conversation.

**From: Jaemin-ie Jaemin-ie Na Jaemin**

**Jeno! Jeno! What do you think about me getting a samoyed dog?**

**Sent: 5:31 pm**

**Where can u even find a dog?**

**Sent: 5:32 pm**

**From: Jaemin-ie Jaemin-ie Na Jaemin**

**I'll make ways, buuut, I'll name it Jeno :P**

**Sent: 5:34 pm**

**Why would u even name a dog after me? Am I a dog?**

**Sent: 5:34 pm**

**From: Jaemin-ie Jaemin-ie Na Jaemin**

**But u look like one :3**

**Sent: 5:35 pm**

**Fine, whatever u want Na, it's ur dog anyway**

**Sent: 5:36pm**

**Have you reviewed already?**

**Sent: 5:36pm**

And Jaemin didn't reply after that, so Jeno assumes that the younger has started reviewing, besides he is stuck as well preparing for the exam. 

His mind took him back to the _joke_ that Jaemin uttered, about flopping the exam. Then, what-ifs started roaming his head. _What if he is serious about it? What if Jaemin wouldn't take it? Then that means we're not going to the same col_ –

_No, Jaemin wouldn't._

" –no! Jeno" Donghyuck exclaimed which snapped him from his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"Jaemin! Where's Jaemin?" And right after Donghyuck asked that, the crew in the port started counting passengers.

_Shit_ , he curses. He fished out his phone and dialed Jaemin's number. After a few rings, no one's picking It up. Jeno's heartbeat started to race in fear, and he keeps telling himself that Jaemin would come.

The next person he called is Mrs. Na, who said that Jaemin already left their house. And Jeno went pale for a second because where could Jaemin be? They need to go. Jeno gritted his teeth, he is tempted to go all over the island to find Jaemin but then he'll miss the boat – then he'll miss the exam. His heart pricks at the thought of a lost opportunity.

Then like a switch in his mind – he might know where Jaemin is. It has to be _there._ Jeno arranges his jacket closer to him and he saw the sun slowly peeking out the blue horizon, and he just prays that he'll make it.

He released a sigh before started running towards _it_. He heard Donghyuck called out for him but he chooses to ring it out in favor of running faster. However, he looked back at the other and shouted, "I'll be back, just make sure the boat doesn't leave yet!"

He knows he can trust Donghyuck in that, and he runs faster. Every step felt heavy for Jeno, and he's now sure that Jaemin has _doubts_. Jeno thinks it's unfair for Jaemin, that maybe Jaemin doesn't really want to take the exam or even leave the island. It's not Jeno's choice, it's Jaemin's.

And he can call himself selfish but now, he can't let go of Jaemin yet. It may come crushing at him sooner but right now, he just wants the younger by his side.

He shook his head in dispute as he trudges the mountains. He looked at his side and see the sun rising – he'll make it. After a hundred steps and gasping breaths, Jeno found him.

Kneeling, praying or wishing, _peaceful_ at the _shrine._

It isn't his schedule but honestly, Jaemin didn't care about his schedule at all. And Jeno – he's just glad he finds the other. He finds himself having an internal conflict of disturbing the younger, he just looks so peaceful in his bubble, himself, so _Jaemin_. Seriously, he could watch Jaemin all day and maybe make a song about him.

But then, his phone rings, Donghyuck.

"Jeno?"

He looked up to see Jaemin looking at him perplexed. He felt sorry that he disturbed Jaemin but they had to go. But before he can even utter a word, Jaemin beat him to it.

"Shoot – are we going?" He watches as Jaemin hurriedly stood up and get his bag. Jeno doesn't get the younger nowadays, he knows there must be something, between them. He wants to ask the younger and know what's bothering him because it's bothering him also. "Jeno, come on! We're gonna miss the boat!"

And Jaemin clasped his hands against Jeno and they started running. Jeno couldn't even say a word, it stays hanging off his tongue. It's like a switch – one flip, Jaemin has him in doubts, then a flip again – Jaemin reassures him.

That thought stayed in his mind until they reached the port again and thankfully, god bless Donghyuck, they managed to make it. Donghyuck didn't miss the chance to smack Jaemin, the outer pouting, "I'm sorry, okay? I went somewhere."

Then, they proceeded in their verbal fighting. Jeno smiles, they are noisy, but he doesn't mind it. Just like this, his eyes on Jaemin, void of doubt, and Jeno wishes he can paint away from the uneasiness in his heart.

He turns his head and views the waters, the calm waves and he closes his eyes. He does not oppose at all, living in the island sounds all 'homey' for Jeno, but what can he say? There's this wanting to see past the horizon – it's like the _call of the youth_. He sees it on his phone, in his phone search; photos of Seoul and then he finds himself smiling and excited.

Yeah, Seoul. But it changes when Jaemin isn't there at all.

He released a sigh, and he doesn't know how it happens but he finds himself in the middle of the two, who are snoring and sleeping fast on both of his shoulders; he has Jaemin on his right and Donghyuck on his left. It's uncomfortable and heavy but he just accepts it. Brings him warmth too.

His eyes go to the sleeping figure at his right, his hand clutched at Jeno's jacket. Jeno took the opportunity to take the hand and intertwined it with his. He smiles as he massages it on his hand, feels the softness, the _completeness_. How he wishes to hold it forever.

He's taken aback when the other figure whispered.

"You know, you should confess to him soon," Donghyuck retracted his weight from Jeno and sat up.

"What?"

Donghyuck rolled his eyes, "Confess to him Jeno. In the end, it will be always the two of you."

Jeno bits his lips as he gazed at their hands. Should he? Or even – does he love Jaemin that way? _Always have been._

Something bursts in Jeno's heart, and maybe all along, he has _love_ Jaemin more than he knows. Jaemin has always been different and Jeno reserves a big space of his life and heart for Jaemin because that's how it always been.

He looked at Donghyuck, helpless, "Should I?"

Donghyuck wanted to wail in victory and happiness but he stops himself since Jaemin is still sleeping and the other passengers too, "If you do, you'll be doing the world a favor. So, please do. Not that we're so sick seeing you two so err – whipped," Jeno wanted to smack him, but then Donghyuck's gaze turned soft and Jeno felt all the sincerity in his words. "Besides, you two are each other's _rock_."

Yeah, _rock_.

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


Jeno's first step in Seoul felt as reverberating as he ever dreamt. Seeing the huge buildings, and looking at the people walking fast, getting to their work, it all feels different for Jeno, yet he smiles. He looked at Donghyuck who started howling and swirling around, Jeno fight the urge to get away from him. Then, he gazed at Jaemin who marveled at the new environment.

Just like what Jeno wants.

Although, they didn't have much time goggle around, not when not less than an hour they will taking the test. True to his words, Mark was there to fetch them. As they ride the bus, they continue to gape around, Mark finds them cute. He knew sooner, they'll get used to it.

However, Jeno's first step at the largest and prestigious college in South Korea feels more exigent, he took a deep breath. His smiles gradually became big as Mark toured them around.

This is his dream, and he's just a test away. He can't wait.

When it's the time to take the test, Mark gave them each a pat on the shoulder and they stepped in at the testing center. Jeno closes his eyes and heaved a sigh.

He looked at Jaemin genuinely. _We'll make it together, right Nana?_

Jaemin stared back at him and slowly, he smiles at Jeno. _Together, always, Jeno._

And Jeno hold on to that as he answered the test, page by page, letter by letter, shade by shade, he planted in his heart, they'll make it. Together, like how Jeno always dreamed.

The moment they step outside the building, Donghyuck is feeling drained, looks like he wanted to cry. Jaemin too is pouting and looked as equally tired as Donghyuck.

Jeno? _Cool._ He snickers at his friends but nevertheless, patted the two. They did a good job. And whatever the results may be, it's gonna be fine.

Mark is already at the outside along with a good-looking man, who exudes an aura of _cool_ and _foreign_. Jeno didn't miss their clasped hands.

As usual, it was Donghyuck who was up and game to sneer at Mark, "Ah mwoya? Are we finally meeting the boyfriend?"

"Stop it," Mark warned as he smacks Donghyuck. "Guys, this is Yuta hyung."

The man smiled at them, "Hi, it's nice meeting y'all."

"Yuta hyung, this is Jeno, Jaemin and yeah – err Donghyuck," Mark grimaces.

Donghyuck faked a smile and turned to Yuta, "Did you know he peed in his pants when –"

And Jeno tuned it out and instead looked beside him. Jaemin has been quiet as he looks around. He expected him to teased Mark alongside Donghyuck but he is just quiet. Jeno sees the awe in his eyes.

"You okay?" He nudges at the younger.

"Hmm," Jaemin hummed and looked at the older. "I'm fine, I just wish I had my camera with me."

"You could always take a picture in your phone Nana," he chuckles.

The younger pouts, "Of course I know that Nono, but I want to capture these on camera," and he looked around, _everywhere_. His words left hanging. Jaemin sighed and smiled sadly, "Feels like I'm just _meant to look at it_." Jeno saw how the earlier glint in Jaemin's eyes turned to fright and _repulse_.

Jeno was about to ask him what he meant by it when Mark called out to them, "Yo, come one! Let's get lunch!"

He looked back at Jaemin but he already has his usual smile on his face. And Jeno was left deprived of answers, he felt like he doesn't understand the younger anymore. Like how Jaemin is slowly slipping away from his life.

"Jeno-yah, come on!"

He was snapped out of his thoughts and saw that they were ahead. He jugs to catch up. Then, he still looked at Jaemin, a question sitting at his tongue but he couldn't utter it, not when Jeno feels Jaemin's fingers slipping against him, and Jeno was swarmed with his _favorite warmth_ again.

So the rest of the afternoon, he didn't think of it.

Throughout the afternoon, Mark shows them around the city. It was filled with 'oohs' and 'aahs' from them, and Jeno's heart leaped on the thought of living there. It is all so different from seeing blue seas and greenery mountains. It – the island and the city – each has its own beauty, but both push Jeno more. He can't wait to make a _third_ home here.

The second? The island. First? He looked at the figure who holds that _title._ How Jeno wishes the younger feels the same.

They tried various delicacies and even played at the arcade. It is so fun and Jeno thought that this is what must it feels like being a youth living in the city. The more he sees the skies turn red-orange palette, the more he felt _fire._ Usually, on this time at the island, they would be walking home, but here in the city, this is the _real morning_ where people come out and experience the game and dance of life.

Sadly, he looked at the flashing streets passing on the bus as he counts off the minutes he has to leave the city. They need to go _home_ , but Jeno had a good time.

They waved goodbye at Mark when they stepped into the boat, the same time the sunset. One thing Jeno notices though is that no one tops the feeling and the view of sunsets seen at the island. Then in his mind, flashed the picture of Jaemin along with the sunset, and Jeno thinks how it's much better that way, _more beautiful_.

The boat starts and Jeno take a glance back at the city, his eyes reflecting the city lights, _I'll be back_.

"Come on Jeno, let's go _home_ ," Jaemin whines and tugs him inside. He smiles, he didn't know it will be his thorn later on.

The ride was nothing earlier besides that the two were knocked out again at Jeno's shoulder but this time, Jaemin snuggles at his side, their hands still intertwined.

He looked at the younger intently. How beautiful it would be to have two homes, Jeno knows. But he was once again taken back to his deferred question. He hopes that it isn't the same thought he thinks earlier.

This time, he let himself plant a kiss on Jaemin's forehead. The kiss holding all feelings, the confession, all his heart, for the younger.

_They'll be okay._

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


High school graduation is a tear-jerker as Jeno expected it to be. Parents and teachers clapping as the students teared up, hugging each other. His speech isn't that lengthy, although he didn't teared up at the stage, his voice quivers at the middle but when he looked at them; his parents, his teachers, his classmates, his friends – Jisung, Donghyuck, Mark who came back, and _him_ – he teared up just for a second. He smiles so sweetly at him as he watches tears fell down at Jaemin's cheeks, _happy tears._

Then, it was time to fly the white caps. Jeno watches in the air and thought about how this will be a closing chapter. He hugged Donghyuck as he rubbed his back, consoling him from his cries. The other has always been dramatic but Jeno knows that right now, Donghyuck is really emotional. Mark and Jisung gave them claps, yells, and hugs.

God, he loves his friends so much.

The time comes for him to hug Jaemin. He snickers as he saw his hiccups. He opened his arms for him and when he hears Jaemin sobs a little louder, it's for them to hear. He wraps his arms around him so tightly and Jaemin buries himself in Jeno's chest. They savor it like it is their last time. They know it isn't but Jeno guesses, he'll lay it all tonight.

He sways them as they hugged each other, Jeno fights the tears as he comforts Jaemin.

After a few more 'congratulations', Jeno turned to Jaemin. "Are you going to the _shrine_?"

Jaemin smiles and Jeno doesn't need any more verbal affirmation. He turned to his parents and said that he'll come home later.

"You didn't have to, Jeno," Jaemin pouted as they walked up the mountains.

Jeno facepalmed, "As if we don't do this yearly after our recognition exercises. What's different now?"

Jaemin laughs in return. After a few minutes, there's silence, it's calming. Jaemin slurred, "This is it, right? We're going to college."

They received the results a few days ago, and thankfully, the three of them passed. Jeno screamed loud at the comfort of his four walls, but that's his secret.

He smiles at the younger, "Yeah, college." And he looked at him, a question left to be asked and to be answered. Jeno deemed it's the right time, "Nana," he called.

"Hmm?" Jaemin responds.

And they reached the shrine, Jeno let it out just before Jaemin can enter, "You'll _never leave me_ , right?"

He felt the cold breeze that flows, he hears the sound of the crickets, and Jeno sees the twinkles of stars in Jaemin's eyes. His heart beating fast while waiting for the younger's response. And the question doesn't take a lengthy answer, but the reason seems dreadful as seconds pass. His eyes pleading at Jaemin.

Jaemin slowly cups his face in his hands, and Jeno saw the softness in his eyes. Jaemin surprises him when he tiptoes to place a kiss, a delicate kiss, on Jeno's cheek. Jeno swears he felt it in every bones and muscle in his body.

_I love you_ – _I love you._

"Of course, Nono. _Together_?" Jaemin smiles but his hand trembles.

However, Jeno felt it so he grabs Jaemin's hands and intertwined it with his. He looked at Jaemin so heavy but lovingly, _"Together._ "

Then, Jaemin pulled away and went inside the younger. As always, Jeno stays in the outside and watches the younger. They'll be together, always, and that's enough for Jeno to be assured, for now.

_Together._

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


It slips off on his mind the moment he accepted that he'll spend his college years in the heart of Seoul. The first month in at the new school and Jeno is feeling alive despite having requirements.

It is an eye-opener for Jeno. He pursues medicine, Donghyuck has always been inclined to music, and Jaemin got into photography. Jeno spent the last two months of vacation going back and forth the island and the city; finding an apartment and settling in the new place.

And Jeno became happier when his roommate is no other than Jaemin. He remembers how they shared smiles and high-fives as soon as they saw their apartment; just a few streets away from the university. Donghyuck rooms with Mark just because the older has always been seen Donghyuck as his younger brother despite his evilness.

So yeah, _so far so good_. He's the first one to wake up and the morning, taking the advantage of waking up Jaemin. Every time he does, his lips tug upwards. The younger is just so beautiful even in his sleep. Sometimes if they got more time before morning classes, Jaemin will cook breakfast for them. Among their friends, Jaemin has always been the chef.

Then, they'll go their separate ways, but Jeno never forgets to squeeze Jaemin's hand, an encouragement to get through the day; just as Jaemin will give him a tight hug before jugging up the way to their building. His face will have a wide smile up until he goes to his class.

Pursuing his dream seems more aesthetic to Jeno now that he glances at the anatomy of the human body; cephalic, cervical, axillary, branchial – Jeno can name it all and he'd still be enthusiastic as it'll ever be. Things are going on his way, he met a wonderful senior who had taken him under his wing.

"It's official, I have taken Jeno as my son," Kim Doyoung said, pinching Jeno's cheeks.

"Ah – hyung, stop," Jeno whines but it sounded more like a laugh.

Jung Jaehyun, the senior's business major boyfriend smiles at them, "I guess you're our son then."

If he has free time, he mostly spends it in the library. He would like to spend it with Jaemin but their schedules didn't match up. He reminisces how the younger pouted and complains how their breaks aren't the same. Sometimes, Jeno would find himself at the photography building, in the red room where Jaemin would squeal at the sight of him. He would wait for the younger as he finishes and they go _home_ together.

Lately, Jeno notices how close he and Jaemin have been, of course, they've always been close; but this time; _physically close._ Skinship isn't new to them. Jeno's fond of holding Jaemin's hands, while the other likes hugging him. But recently, it's like touches have escalated.

Jeno would have the courage to back hug the younger, Jaemin will sometimes kiss his cheeks or sometimes, they would cuddle before they sleep. And Jeno would brush off Jaemin's hair as he matches his slow breathing pace. When Jeno means _recently_ , it means every day.

He notices how the younger is so tired and stressed the past few days. He would often find him nodding off holding his notes. But lately, Jaemin has been passive. When he, Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Mark went out for a dinner, they often find Jaemin staring blank. He is out of himself.

Jeno asked him about it. "Are you okay, Nana?"

But Jaemin just forces a smile, "Yeah, just a bit tired, I guess."

"Are you sure? You look sick. Do you have a fever?"

"Mhhm," the younger shook his head. "I think I just need sleep."

However, Jeno hears the weight of his words.

Sometimes he'll call out of Jaemin for staying in the showers for too long. Then when he comes out, his eyes are puff red. Jeno panics but Jaemin said it's just his studies. The older knows it's not that, but he didn't push. Jaemin looks like he doesn't want to talk about it. So he just holds the younger against him until he sleeps tight.

Like the previous problem, it slips off Jeno. The proceeding months have been busy for him, lectures and requirements just doubled like a ton shit. If he's not stuck at the library, he spends his full day at the laboratory. At the end of the day, he felt like his brain is close to exploding.

That causes him to cancel some plans with Jaemin. Sometimes Jaemin will message him if they'll have lunch or just hang-out after the classes, Jeno often types, ' _Can't Nana, still have class. I'll catch up on you, later._ '

On some other days, Jaemin will be the one waiting for him.

But it never changes, it just gets worse. Rather than blank, Jaemin looks _sad_. The smiles he shows seems more forced. Once Jeno confronts him about it, but Jaemin always finds ways to say that he's fine.

One night as they lay at Jeno's bed, looking past at the windows, and staring at the stars; Jeno tries again.

"Nana, is there something wrong?"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me what's wrong, you promised me."

Jaemin looked at the stars lifeless and it took him minutes before he answered, "It's just…I don't know, I'm just feeling _lost._ "

"Why?"

"Everything is just so different from what I expected, from what I – It's like I'm not ready yet."

"Ready for what?"

"Jeno-yah, you know that I have a lot of fears, yeah?"

"Yeah?"

"I think this is one," he whispered. _Whispered_ like he is confessing something dark in his heart.

"You know, living in the city. It's just so different from the island. And the people here – some are good and I – I," he stutters and sighed as he stares up the night sky. "It's – I think I'm not _looking at the same stars_ I used to see."

Jeno reached out for his hand and grasped it against. He looked at him genuinely, "It's okay Nana, we'll get used to it."

Jaemin looked at him perplexed but smiled after. Jeno doesn't know if it's a real smile or another forced one, but Jaemin's eyes became glassy as it looked back at the stars.

People have a lot of fears, mostly fears that they deny. Jeno is like that and to hear Jaemin says one of his speaks something deep in Jeno. Rather than fear, he has doubts about living in the city after living all his life on the island, but that was washed away by the excitement and awe. He guesses _Jaemin sees_ different _._

He just wishes that they'll adapt to this. It isn't hard, he knows.

Then, he noted how he never sees Jaemin prays anymore. Well, it's not like he has time and a _private_ place for it. So Jeno uttered, "Would you like to go to a shrine tomorrow? I heard there's one near the port."

Next came silence. He sees the younger fidgets at the ends of his shirt. Jaemin shook his head, "Nah, I'm _good_. When are we coming back to the island?" His tone raising at the end of the question as he looked at Jeno.

And Jeno doesn't know what's in them, it's not lifeless anymore. "Probably next month. Midterms are coming up, we'll still be stuck in the dorm."

Jaemin smiled tight and looked back at the stars, "Right?"

_Tone depleted._

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


However, Jeno found out the cost of his reply. It is scary, it's like Jeno is reminded how he could lose Jaemin any second.

It is another busy day for Jeno, full of dissecting and lectures. He missed Jaemin's calls but he guesses he could make it up to the younger later. The moment he entered their dorm, he notices that Jaemin is not there. There is a party tonight at Liu Yangyang's place. They were invited and they always go together to a party.

So Jeno once again guesses that maybe Jaemin is already at the party. However, he frowns. No message from the younger ever since the morning, not even in the afternoon, no replies at Jeno's messages either.

_Weird._

At this time, they are already at the phase of constantly informing the other about the schedules. Don't ask – that's how they are. He tried calling him but he doesn't reach him. It made Jeno nervous. He can count in his fingers the days in his life where he doesn't see Jaemin within a day. _It's disturbing_ , Jeno thought.

He brushes it off but he can feel the fast-beating of his heart, full of worry and uncertainty. He immediately dresses up for the party. He wanted to believe that Jaemin is fine.

He knows Jaemin has been busy too. He wakes up and goes home holding his camera and binder. He spends his whole day in lecture halls, outside, and in the red room. And he knows how Jaemin treasures photography. He remembered the younger telling him, " _Capturing something that reminds me of me is the most wonderful thing I will forever do."_ One time, he scanned Jaemin's portfolio, all of the pictures there took him back to the aesthetic of their island. _Home will forever be home._

Throughout his run towards the party, his mind is filled up with _Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin_. He feels like he said something that shouldn't be said. Ever since that night where they lay it all to the stars, Jaemin has been quiet. It's like he is really _lost_ , and Jeno doesn't know what to do.

Jaemin always reassures him but every time he does, Jeno felt like he is being pulled away from him. And the fucking thing, he can't deal with it, it always slips off his mind, his focus on his _dreams, his future – god, isn't it Jaemin part of that?_

He stopped in his tracks as he realized that Jaemin is part of his life, his future, dreams, eternity, and everything. Jeno wanted the younger forever in his life.

And he needs to tell Jaemin that.

He runs again, this time every step holds the adrenaline of confessing, the fast-beating of _love_ , and it's all for Jaemin. A smile breaks out as he thought of it. Loving Jaemin is a far much greater blessing he ever had, and he knows he'll never stop.

The moment he steps into the party, he immediately looked for Jaemin. Not even catching up his breath, he looked around yet no Jaemin. He scrunches his face at the realization. _Jaemin is not here_.

However, he did found one of his bestfriends, just not in the usual way of Donghyuck making out with his Chinese boyfriend, Renjun, who also is a fine art freshman. He didn't want to cockblock them but he needs to find Jaemin. "Hyuck!"

"Who the hell _–_ oh Jeno-yah!"

"Yeah, uhh _–_ have you seen Jaemin?"

"Jaemin? Nope. I thought you two are coming here together? I mean, isn't that a rule already?"

"What? No, I mean not really. It's just, I haven't seen him all day."

Then, Renjun interrupted, "Are you looking for Jaemin? Na Jaemin?"

Jeno beamed, "Yeah! Have you seen him?"

The other nodded, "Not at the party but earlier, afternoon. He said he's going somewhere."

"Somewhere? Did he say where?"

"Oh, I'm not sure at all but, he looked like he's been crying or it's just me because his eyes looked so red, but he said he's just going to _pray_ or something, I don't know."

_Pray. Pray. Pray._

And it all came crashing down to Jeno, his mind working out Jaemin. _Lost, fear, stars, pray, home, Jaemin._ He now understands why Jaemin felt like that, why he's been quiet, just within his mind. How could Jeno not see that?

"Fuck!" He let out as he runs away and towards it. He heard Donghyuck's calls but he rings it out, his mind completely enveloped on reaching the younger. It all made sense to him; distant, the portfolio, the question of going home, the fear. He shouldn't have said that they'll get used to it, 'cause Jaemin can't _yet_.

"Shit, shit _–_ Jaemin, Jaemin, _Nana_ ," he stutters as he runs towards the port, alongside the welling tears in his eyes. He pushes through the cold wind and doesn't mind stumbling against other people, puffs of ragged breaths melted away in the air, but when he saw the port, his tears fall down.

He brushes away his tears, and immediately runs to the teller, "I uhh _–_ *huff* _–_ one ticket to Muuido Island, please."

"Oh aren't you the boyfriend of the other one who has been here?" the clerk asked with a smile.

It took Jeno's attention as he uttered, "W-what?"

"You know, the bunny-looking guy too. He boarded the boat earlier."

Despite the darkness, Jeno turned to the vast sea, the way to their island. Then, he whispered, "Yeah, _we're going home._ "

"You're lucky. You're the last passenger so the boat will leave any minute. Go."

After paying and getting his ticket, he immediately runs to the boat and sat down at one of the chairs. He sat down looking at his feet and feeling the ache in his heart. The bot started moving and Jeno can already how chilly the ride will be.

He looked at his watch, 7:13 pm, one more hour. Jeno looked at the sea, how he misses home. There is something that will always pull him back to where he establishes his life. But Jaemin _–_ the island has always been held deeper on the younger. He knows Jaemin is scared, not ready to let go.

He still never found his cornerstone in the city. There at their island, Jaemin can always lay all his problems in his _sanctuary._ In the city, he doesn't have the time and the place to do that. And it's not like he can't say it to Jeno, of course, he says it to him. But Jaemin _–_ he has to hold on to the shrine, to the island.

He keeps calling Jaemin along the ride, keeps restraining the tears, the fear, the anxiousness. He just wants to see Jaemin, to be with him as he _prays._

Thinking about makes it bearable as he looks up and he's on the port of the island. An hour of floating in longingness and seizing. He straight away hops off the boat and it's fascinating I an absurd way because he didn't even look at his house, nor did he think about the moment he gets off the boat. His mind solely focused on running to the shrine.

He runs and trudges the mountain in big breaths, _just a little more._ After a few more minutes of sprinting, he stands at the front of the shrine and looking at the crying figure at the center of it. Even in the darkness of their surroundings, Jaemin still glows as he belongs to his shrine.

Again, he felt himself tearing up. And Jeno doesn't usually get inside the shrine but this time he took courage just to hug the younger because he needs to feel him in his arms.

Jaemin was perplexed at the sudden hug but after a few seconds, he knows who it is. He knows it more than everything in this world. He cried more as he turned around and cried at Jeno's chest.

The older doesn't know if it is a heart-warming moment or a heart-breaking one. It hurts him seeing Jaemin cry, living closed in his fear, of not letting go. But Jeno is here, _Nono is here._

"I'm here, Nana. Shh _– I'm here._ "

They cried together, holding and burrowed in each other's hold. Then, Jeno took a glance at the shrine, its woods, the foundation, the old roof, the vines, he'll miss this.

They'll talk it out.

He pulled away Jaemin's face and cupped it as he looked at the other passionately. "Nana, listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying that we'll get used to it when you're not. And it's okay Nana _–_ it's okay that you feel like you don't belong there, in the city. It's okay."

More tears fell down at Jaemin's cheeks along with his cries and sniffle, "Jeno _–_ "

"And it's okay if you'll always go back here, yeah? I'll always be with you. I'm here, Nana. _I'm here._ "

Jaemin wailed more as he shook his head, "No, Jeno _–_ it's not okay. I'm, I don't know. I'm such a coward."

"Nana," the older called while brushing away Jaemin's tears with a genuine smile on his face. "Everyone has their sanctuary, their comfort place. This shrine, the mountain, the island, it will always be your sanctuary, and nothing will change, yeah. _Home is home._ "

And he expected Jaemin to cry more but what he said next made Jeno's heart raced, "That's why I'm learning to be brave. I want to change _it_. I went here to ask for the courage to change it."

Jeno feels more than understand. He feels the blooming tension between them, and it felt fluttering. Basked at the serenity given by the shrine, the calmness of the island, the completeness in Jaemin; Jeno took a step for it.

He cupped Jaemin's face and let himself place his lips against the other's soft ones. And it's everything Jeno wanted, to feel that lips, to feel that _love_. He presses more as he pulls the younger closer, their lips tangled around each other. He, nope they have been longing for this.

When they pulled away, Jeno looked at him with a sweet smile, "Will you let me be your _shrine,_ Nana? 'Cause I'm not going anywhere without you."

Jaemin cried more at the confession, "Only if you'll let me in. I always pray for you Nono, that someday we'll be each other's. Then, I prayed for my fears, of losing everything, you, of uncertainties, not belonging. But when I think about it, it's not about the shrine anymore Nono, _– it's you._ " He confessed with a happy huff.

Jeno lets out a chuckle and allowed himself to place a peck on Jaemin's lips. He can get used to that. "I love you, Nana."

"I love you too, Nono."

  


  


  


***

  


  


  


The moment they made their relationship known after being caught making out at their dorm, Mark and Donghyuck screamed along with the exchange of money. Jeno just rolled his eyes.

They didn't say what happened at the shrine at their friends _–_ it stays between them, and Jeno will always cherish it. Admittedly, not everything changes rapidly, actually Jeno likes that things are happening little by little.

In the morning, after waking up cuddling, and dropping each other in their classes, Jeno finds himself more bright than he'll ever be. Now, he can kiss Jaemin anytime he wants, with all love and admiration.

And at night, it only took one look at Jaemin for him to tell about his worries, his struggles. It's not always Jaemin, sometimes Jeno would come home sighing but Jaemin will cuddle it out of him.

Slowly, they are making their place in brisk city life. Sometimes it felt suffocating but they got each other, everything's gonna be fine.

When they find time to go home on the island, they don't forget to come to the shrine.

"Aren't you going inside?" Jeno asked him, an arm wrapped around Jaemin's back. He expected him to go inside but the younger only bowed at the shrine.

Jaemin smiled up at him, "Nope, I got no worries. I found my _sanctuary_. Come on, let's go to Jisung's graduation! I can't believe my baby's graduating already!" And Jeno watches him hopped off the mountain and Jeno follows with a smile on his face.

Then, Jaemin turned around and it's like a reminiscence of the past. Jaemin glowing, basked at the sunset's rays. _Much beautiful._ To think that he'll have that opportunity to see that forever.

He blurted out, just because he needs to, because every single day it's growing, and Jeno can deal with it. "I love you, Na Jaemin!"

He heard Jaemin's laugh that is much brighter than ever, "I love you, Lee Jeno!"

_They'll always be each other's shrine._

  


  


  


**Author's Note:**

> this fic took me a ride because somehow i find myself in this fic sksksk  
> hope this fic is able to make you happy!  
> don't ask about the yumark - I'm a sucker :'))  
> thank you for reading ♡♡  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/yuta_aishiteruu)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/banana_02)


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